Written by At a prospecting event that I attended last week, I learned something new that kind of caught me off guard.
To some, it just may seem common sense and on the surface, I guess it is. However, I think it just might be something that I’d been taking for granted lately.
Lots of folks look at prospecting and relationship building as the same thing and use the words interchangeably. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Let’s look at the difference between the two.
Prospecting
Miriam Webster Dictionary defines a prospect as “a potential buyer or customer” or “a likely candidate for a job or a position”. And when you think about going to a networking event, that definition often seems to fit. Everyone there is looking for someone to connect with as a potential buyer or candidate for a position.
It isn’t until we reframe how we look at these opportunities that we see people through a different lens.
Now let’s look at the definition of a relationship.
Relationship
Miriam Webster Dictionary defines a relationship as, “connecting or binding participants”.
I love the different picture this paints of the same exact event! What I love so much about it is how it re-frames our intentions going in to the event. Let me explain with my own experience.
I’ve often said in articles that building your practice is all about building relationships. About how networking is about making connections with people that will grow a relationship that will last and that there should be no expectations for reciprocation. Only building the relationship for relationship sake; and when you do this, the rest will follow.
And yet, somehow last week, I found myself breaking my own rules.
Much of the networking that I do is online. As I meet people in different media platforms and get to know them better, there have become patterns in conversation that I am especially tuned in to and answers that lead me to understand where the conversation is heading or what a person’s needs may be.
Last week however, all of that changed when I attended an event in person.
I prepared in the usual way; making sure I had business cards ….only for people who asked for them. Not ones that I forcefully passed out. I also started thinking of ice breaker type questions to get the conversation started and things that I could ask people about their business.
Here’s what I learned:
I Was Prospecting
…at least at first anyway. Until I caught myself and paid attention to what I was doing.
I found myself asking the same questions to each person that I met and listening for those clues in their answers and even began having thought patterns to see if they were a good fit!!! I was so angry at myself when I realized what I was doing, yuck!
It was when I met a really lovely woman who had a training practice for leaders that I REALLY enjoyed talking to, that I got that lightbulb moment.
I walked away from that conversation with her realizing that this was what I was missing. Establishing a relationship for the sake of the relationship itself is where all of the magic happens. We laughed, we joked, we swapped corporate war stories… we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company!
At the end of that conversation, the transition was easy and we were eager to talk again and even had some ideas in mind about working together. Nothing was forced and nothing felt like a “sale”.
What I learned from that even is that
- REALLY listening to someone for the purpose of building a relationship is much easier to do in person.
- People make purchasing decisions from people that they know, like and trust. Relationships solve this.
It’s worth while attending an event or two in person to keep these skills sharp and remind you of what’s most important.
But if you find that the majority of the conversations you have with potential clients are either online or by phone, keep a visual reminder at hand about the importance of the relationship.
When you take the time to build solid relationships with people, everyone wins.
I would love to hear how you are keeping the focus no building the relationship rather than acquiring prospects for your private practice. Please share your wonderful insights in the comments below.