How to Ask For Referrals Sincerely: No Sales Hype Necessary

Are you stuck on how to ask for referrals sincerely  without that creepy sales hype feeling? Watch this video for my full proof formula on how to ask for referrals with sincerity and confidence. You’ll be out asking for referrals in no time.

If you’re intimidated about asking for referrals and the mere thought of it leaves you feeling like a creepy, sleazy salesperson, don’t worry. By the end of this article, you’ll have five strategies that you can put in place. It will leave you requesting referrals with confidence.

Ask For Referrals Sincerely Strategy 1

Take the time to build the relationship. So often when we think about networking or asking for referrals, we tend to think of it more as a transaction, but really what you’re doing here is your building a relationship that will stand the test of time.

You want more than just ONE referral from this person, you want them to refer well into the future to your practice. So take the time to get to know them and establish that relationship.

Ask For Referrals Sincerely Strategy 2

Offer to help. Think about ways that you can support this person and be of value to them.

Are there people that you can introduce them to that are in your network? Are there articles or resources or software or something that you can recommend that would be helpful to them? Or, are there referrals that you could send in their direction as well?

Make sure that they know up front that you’re a partner with them and you want to help them just as much as you are going to need referrals from them.

Ask For Referrals Sincerely Strategy 3

Give something of value to them that will make it incredibly easy for them to refer you.

I had a great experience last year at the doctor’s office for my physical checkup.

A really savvy mental health professional had provided my doctor with a questionnaire and a grading key that he could give to all of his patients that would determine whether or not they were at risk for anxiety or depression.

It was something that he simply came into the room and gave every person who was coming in for their regular checkup, just as a means of testing them and making sure that they were both physically healthy and emotionally healthy.

So, as I was filling out this brilliant questionnaire, right at the bottom of the questionnaire, was the psychotherapist’s contact information so that you could schedule an appointment with her. It was a brilliant way for her to help my doctor with the screening process and also making it incredibly easy for her to get referrals and clients at the same time.


Think about things that you can offer to the people that you are requesting referrals from that will make it incredibly easy for them to refer you.

Strategy 4

Take the focus off of yourself. So many times when we’re networking, we’re so consumed with the fact that it feels uncomfortable and we feel like we have to plug our nose and hold our breath; then go ahead and ask for that referral. The whole thing seems so yucky. We just want it to be over and done with.

Take the focus off of yourself and put all of your attention and your focus on the other person and think about ways that you can give and be of service to them.


When I meet with people now, that I have this strategy in place for myself. I kind of make a game of it. I give myself a certain amount of time and I try and think of three things that I can do or give that would be a value to that other person.

So if you go into it with the focus off of yourself and on the other person and the idea of giving in mind, it makes it so much easier to get that referral.

Now speaking of taking the focus off of yourself, if you’re finding that this is something that you struggle with, I have another article called Prospecting Versus Relationship Building. It’s on my YouTube channel and I’d love for you to check it out.

Strategy 5

Make sure that you follow up. Remember, you’re building a long term relationship that will stand the test of time.

And, when you think about people that you are friends with, if you only met them once, and never talked to them again. They really wouldn’t be someone who you’d consider to be a friend.

In order to maintain that relationship, make sure that you follow up with them periodically. Whether it’s to recommend a book or an article, or simply to just say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check in and say hello”.

When you stay top of these people’s minds, it will be so much easier for them to refer you. And again, you’re building a relationship between the two of you that will stand the test of time.

What are some of the ways that you can give and add value to someone in the process of asking for a referral? I’d love to hear your examples in the comments below.